So, we won. And I’m drunk on a combination of alcohol and please-make-my-cold-go-away pills. Everybody’s happy, unless you’re Slovenian.

It was a much better performance, too, although it’s kinda like starting from a Westlife album and judging your record as good in comparison. Nonetheless, despite the mental lineup (Milner on the right? Gerrard on the left again?), England were in control of the game from the early stages, and the opposition never looked like scoring. Despite that, extreme FEAR was in abundance while watching the game. One goal is never enough to calm the nerves, and every time Slovenia got past the halfway line, you could sense the sharp intake of breath from the entire pub. Still, we held out. Germany in the second round, then. Should be legendary.

The more surprising sporting action today came at Wimbledon, where the longest game of tennis in all recorded human history took place between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut (or Keith Vaz versus Manhunt, as we videogame fans bizarrely dubbed it), which was surprisingly fascinating even as it continued beyond the tolerance of all that is holy. One of the guys had two match points at one… er… point. Failed, but nice thought. Personally I’m hoping that the match carries on forever in homage to that Greek mythological guy who keeps on having to push the rock up the hill. What happens if the match doesn’t end – if it just carries on forever? If it carries on until next Wimbledon? At what point does the umpire call the players off, and say “no more”? It’s an interesting sporting situation. Delicately poised at 59-59 in the final set, the victor is clearly going to be so knackered that they won’t have a chance of getting through the next round.

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