The Real Auteur-Native

Is it really Marmite if everyone hates it? Okay, so this is taking slightly longer than intended. My second video blog, I mean. While last week’s first effort was a mere “point the iPhone, talk rubbish and see how it looks” affair that I knocked up in half an hour, I’ve gone… er… slightly overboard with this one. Titles! Music! Video clips! Archive footage! Photos! Voiceovers! Shit accents! As such, it’s a bit of an editing nightmare, with multiple tracks going on simultaneously, and look, here’s me with absolutely no editing experience whatsoever. Steep learning curve alert.

On the upside, trying to muddle through all of this stuff is pretty fun, and I can’t wait to see how fundamentally embarrassing the end result is. Hopefully it’ll even be vaguely entertaining in spots, though I fear it’ll be an absolute car crash. Seriously, the accents are SHIT. But that’s doubtless… um… intentional. There’s still no narrative throughline to the whole thing, but hey, I have to have something to think about for next week’s entry, right?

All being well, video blog #2 will be up on Thursday night or thereabouts, with one landing every week thereafter. I have big plans for what I laughably call this “feature”. With all the bits of the jigsaw puzzle currently sitting on the hard drive, it’s now just a question of figuring out how to fit them all together without my PC exploding. It’s five minutes of your life you’ll never get back, and you’ll wonder what the hell I’m on by even attempting to do it by myself, but if even one of you gets it, then it’ll all have been worth it. If not, then you get to virally humiliate me forever. Seems like a good deal.

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