Endless Caruso One-Liners

CSI:Miami is one of the most ludicrous shows on US television. Yet despite its incredible lack of realism and some terrible, terrible plots, it remains relentlessly entertaining, mainly due to the performance of David Caruso as Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Caruso has now gone beyond a parody of himself in the role, approaching every scene with at least one of the following trademarks that are laughably repetitive but somehow still really great: lines delivered incredibly slowly in two parts, head bowed and hands together on opening shot, putting his shades on or taking them off, hands on hips and looking far off as another character approaches him, that way he says “Fraaaaank”, and most importantly, delivering a quip before striding out of frame to the “Yeeeeaaaahh” of The Who. It’s a drinking game nightmare. (At least he’s stopped giving kids his “carrrrrrd” in recent years – that was getting kinda creepy.)

Enjoy some of Horatio’s most cheese-tastic moments here, in this fantastic montage of Caruso one-liners. People actually get paid to write this stuff:

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  1. Pingback: What You’ve Missed « The Mirrorball

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